- Is it possible that my bodily tension means that I am not fully open to the feedback?
If yes or possibly, then what am I avoiding? Is there something here to learn?
Answer: Absolutely.
- Is the resistance, dislike, and tension I am feeling helpful?
What is it that I might need to learn from my closed-mindedness?
- Do I find myself wanting to automatically explain, defend, or discount the other person’s feedback or what is happen- ing? If yes or maybe, then is this a sign that I may not be truly open?
- Am I finding it hard to question my point of view or even engage in self-enquiry? If yes or maybe, then what might this mean?
- Am I talking more quickly or immediately responding to the other person’s feedback or questions? Am I holding my breath or breathing more quickly? Has my heart rate changed? If yes or maybe, then what does this mean? What is driving me to respond so quickly? Is it possible I am feeling threatened? - Am I able to truly pause and consider the possibility that I may be wrong or may need to change? Am I saying to myself “I know I am right” no matter what they say or how things seem? Or do I feel like shutting down, quitting, or giving up? If yes or maybe, then is it possible that I am operating out of Fixed or Fatalistic Mind? What is it that I fear? - Am I resisting being open to this feedback because part of me believes that doing so will change an essential part of who I am? If yes or maybe, then what might this mean? What am I afraid of? - Am I automatically blaming the other person or the environment for my emotional reactions? If yes or maybe, then is it possible this could represent a way for me to avoid being open to the feedback? - Do I believe that I know what the intentions are of the person giving me the disconfirming feedback? For example, am I assuming that they are trying to promote themselves? Or do I believe that they are trying to manipulate, coerce, or intimidate me? If yes or maybe, then is it possible that I am not really giving them a chance? What am I afraid might happen if I were to momentarily drop my perspective? - Do I think it is unfair to fully listen to someone who I believe is not listening to me? If yes or sometimes, then is it pos- sible this is occurring now? If yes or maybe, then why do I need things to be fair? - Do I feel invalidated, hurt, unappreciated, or misunderstood by the person giving me the disconfirming feedback? Is there a part of me that believes it is important for them to acknowledge (or apologize) that they do not understand me before I would be willing to fully consider their position? If yes or maybe, then why do I need to be understood? Why do I need to be validated? Is it possible this desire might subtly block openness on my part by requiring the other person to change first? - Do I believe that further self-examination is unnecessary because I have already worked out the problem, know the answer, or have done the necessary self-work about the issue being discussed? If yes or maybe, then is it possible that I am not willing to truly examine my personal responses? Why do I feel so convinced that I already know the answer? What do I fear I may lose? - Do I desire to capitulate, give up, or agree with the feedback? If yes or maybe, then is it possible that my agreement is disguised avoidance? Am I agreeing in order to avoid conflict, not because I truly believe they are right? What might this mean? - Is the feedback I am being given something that I have heard from others before? If so, what might this mean? Is it possible that there is something to learn from this feedback? If you find yourself resisting self-enquiry or feeling nothing, use self-enquiry to explore this further by asking… - What might my resistance be trying to tell me? What is it I need to learn? - What does my resistance tell me about myself or my willingness to engage in learning this new skill? - What am I resisting? Is there something important for me to acknowledge or recognize about myself or the current moment? - Is it possible that I am numbing out or shutting down in order to avoid taking responsibility or make important changes? What is it that I need to learn? Use the following space to record new self-enquiry questions that emerge for you over time.
Introductory AstrologyIntroductory Human Design
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